Ok I've had my D200 for almost a year, on my 55-200 non vr lens I can change the focus points but on my 18-55 kit lens(vr) I can't seem to change the focus points,does VR need to be off for me to change the focus points so I can have the right place?
Are you sure this is specifically tied to the lens and not to some other inadvertently changed focus setting or 4-way selector locked or something? Are you sure the meter is active when you try to change focus points? Is the AF switch turned on and working on both lenses?
OK - so there's your problem. It's not possible to choose an AF point with the camera in that mode - the camera determines which AF point(s) to use based on where the closest object is positioned in the frame.
Change to Single-area AF or plain Dynamic-area AF (i.e. without closest subject priority) and you'll be able to select the AF point you want. Single-area AF is the lowest of the four positions for the AF-Area selector on the rear of the camera
The only way the lens affects this issue is that, if the lens is in MF, it forces the camera into Single-area AF - whatever AF-Area Mode you had chosen.