To me, the "retouched" version looks like there is an unnatural level of detail. I do like the direction, but I'd back off the detail or midtone contrast a bit. It seems that every rock wall and tree has detail - and my eye finds it overly busy even on a computer monitor. Increasing size to 16x20 or so will make that detail even more apparent - and distracting.
It's a personal decision and will depend a bit on what paper you are using.