Addressing the VR noise first, some noise is normal as the VR elements are moving and settling in. Now if it sounds like a Mack truck making a panic stop then it might be a problem.
as for the no fire/F zero issue, the first thing i'd try is cleaning the lens and body contacts. It sounds like lack of lens to body communication. Some people use an alcohol dampened Qtip, others a pencil eraser to lightly brush the contacts, being careful not to get eraser dust into the body or lens. A dry piece of a courser weave cotton may well provide enough abrasion to clean the contacts. Also inspect the contacts to be sure none of them are stuck. Those contacts are a small ball with a tiny spring under them to maintain tension, if one is stuck a bit could allow for mis contact. Lastly, make sure your lens is latched, and try twisting it a bit, sometimes the bit of play inherent to some lens mounts will allow loss of contact.
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