I was in a very similar situation with my wife too! We ended up getting the D5100 basically for video alone. I preferred the flippy screen (and the price!) of the D5100 over the D3200, although i didn't look too seriously at it. The extra pixels won't make any difference for video as all DSLR's footage is around 2 megapixels. I believe the video exposure controls of the D3200 are the same as the D5100 i.e. ####! You can't manually adjust aperture at all unless you employ various annoying work arounds! I think the D7000 is a little better but its only the D800 and D4 that allow real manual control in video. Even the D600 has been crippled in the same way. Its very annoying and has made me consider more than a little, trading in for canon.
In auto or semi-auto mode though, the video is great and capable of good stuff... We've shot 2 short films on ours and they look good...its just the handling that sucks!
Its a great little stills camera too. Although of course it won't autofocus with older lenses but thats irrelevant for video I guess.
As a footnote I've just sold my D700 to get a D800 so I CAN have manual video control!