Hi Pieter,

>No she goes for the real option

I am not sure what you mean! Keep in mind that All of the Nikkor and even the third party brands (Zeiss, Sigma, Tamron, and Tokina) are optically excellent or better.
The Nikkor 85mm f/3.5G ED AF-S VR DX Micro is less expensive than the 105mm VR in part because it is a DX lens, the Elements are much smaller and lighter and therefore less expensive.

>we're thinking now on a grip adding more weight but better
>handling...who knows

Keep in mind that when shooting at Macro distances a good tripod is extremely important since the DOF is paper thin even when the lens is fully stopped down.
The tripod will also carry the weight of the camera and lens making a third party grip less than useful.
Your friend might find focusing rails a more useful tool.
Good Luck and Enjoy your Nikons!

Best Regards,
Marty