Congratulations! You have picked an excellent camera for your first experience with a DSLR.
I would definitely buy the camera with the kit lens. It is an extremely sharp lens and it gives you a good focal length range. And, it is a bargain for the additional $100.00. If you were to buy it separately, it would cost between $180 and $200. You should also consider the 55-200 or the 55-300 since they are both discounted when you buy them together with the D5100. As I recall, you get $100 off on the 55-200 and $150 off on the 55-300. Both are very respectable lenses. I think that you will be far happier with the zooms than with one fixed focal length lens like the 35. After you have used your camera for a while and if you still feel that the 35 better fits your needs, I'm sure that you could sell the 18-55 for what you paid, however, I don't think that that is going to happen.