A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.
John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. Minutes passed as the parrot squawked, kicked and screamed.
Suddenly, total quiet. Not a peep was heard. More minutes passed..
John opened the freezer door:
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."
Stunned at the change in the bird's attitude, he started to say.......when the parrot contined:
"Sir: may I ask what the turkey did?"
Happy Thanksgiving to all.......
In the Hills by the Finger Lakes..
" A velvet hand, a hawk's eye - these we should all have." - Henri Cartier-Bresson
#5. "RE: The Parrot and the.....a short story" In response to Reply # 4
San Pedro Garza García, MX
Maybe this is the parrot that came perched on the shoulder of a one legged pirate on a stormy night, late in the bitter cold winter in Tortuga As they approached the saloon bar, the bartender asked "Does the animal talk?" The parrot raised his shoulders wondering too and said "I really don't know".
#9. "RE: The Parrot and the.....a short story" In response to Reply # 7
> >A woman was in a pet store and noticed a parrot with a very >low price. > >She asked if the bird was sick or something, and was told that >no one wanted it because it came from a house of ill-repute. > >She figured the price was so low, she could deal with it, so >she bought it and took it home. > >Once at home, the parrot looked around and said, “New house, >new madam!” > >Sometime later the girls got in from school and noticed the >parrot. > >The parrot said, “New house, new madam, new girls!” They all >giggled and thought it was kind of funny. > >As the husband came pulling into the drive, they all ran out >to see him. The wife says, “Honey, look at my new pet!” > >They get inside and the parrot says, “New house, new madam, >new girls, hello Bob!” > >
#10. "RE: The Parrot and the.....a short story" In response to Reply # 0
Powder Springs, US
I work with a guy named Ben who bought an African Gray Parrot and taught it to say "Ben be the man". He is now divorced and his ex has the bird. Every time her boyfriend comes over...well you get the idea. True story.
Scott Chapin Powder Springs, GA, USA Nikonians Team Member
#12. "RE: The Parrot and the.....a short story" In response to Reply # 11
My mom was in a pet store when she hear someone in one of the offices who sounded like they were answering the phone:
"Hello, Joe" but it kept repeating "Hello, Joe" after a few more times of "Hello, Joe" She figured it was a bird and she looked into the office where the voice was coming from. When she caught the birds eye, it said "I used to be a bird"
#14. "RE: The Parrot and the.....a short story" In response to Reply # 0
A magician is working the dinner shows on a cruise ship. On the first night he notices the captain has a parrot perched on his shoulder, and the captain's table is immediately in front of the stage. In spite of the visual distraction, the first two night's of shows go smoothly. However, starting on the third night, the parrot continually gives away the tricks. "Rawk, it's up his sleeve." "Rawk, he has two rabbits." "Rawk, his assistant has it." And so on. Quite disconcerting for the magician. Then, on the sixth day, the ship strikes a large iceberg and sinks. When the magician wakes up, he sees that he is sitting at one end of a lifeboat, with the parrot at the other end. For two days they drift, staring at each other, neither speaking. Finally, on the third day, the parrot says: "Okay, where did you put the ship?"
From the rocking of the cradle to the rolling of the hearse, the going up was worth the coming down
#16. "RE: The Parrot and the.....a short story" In response to Reply # 0 Tue 29-May-12 12:52 AM by HBB
Yet another, somewhat bawdier version ...
A little old lady's husband dies, and she goes to a pet store to find an animal to keep her company. The shop owner sells her a large parrot, and assures her it will talk once it gets comfortable in its new home.
For days, the parrot says nothing, despite her coaxing. Finally, in a loud voice the parrot says: "It's too g-- d--- hot in here". Alarmed, the little old lady chastises the parrot, telling it that foul language will not be tolerated.
Despite her continued warnings, the parrot keeps repeating: "It's too g-- d--- hot in here!" Finally, the little old lady grabs the parrot and puts it in her refrigerator for twenty minutes or so to cool off. Once she removes it, it ruffles its feathers and immediately repeats the offending phrase.
Infuriated, the little old lady grabs the parrot and puts it in the freezer section of her refrigerator. On the way in, the parrot notices a naked, headless, frozen, butterball turkey on the top shelf.
Before the door closes and the light goes out, the parrot asks the turkey: "What did you say, s--- or something?"
Thank our lucky stars we evolved with a sense of humor ...
HBB in Phoenix, Arizona Nikonian Team Member
Photography is a journey with no conceivable destination.