A young man named John received a parrot as a
gift.

The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with
profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently
saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could
think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot
yelled back.
John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.

John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put
him in the freezer.
Minutes passed as the parrot squawked, kicked and screamed.

Suddenly, total quiet.
Not a peep was heard. More minutes passed..

John opened the freezer door:

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said
"I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.
I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and
unforgivable behavior."

Stunned at the change in the bird's attitude, he started to say.......when the parrot contined:

"Sir: may I ask what the turkey did?"


Happy Thanksgiving to all.......


Andy

In the Hills by the Finger Lakes..


" A velvet hand, a hawk's eye -
these we should all have." - Henri Cartier-Bresson

Gave me a very good laugh.
Thank you.

Have a great time
JRP (Founder & Administrator. Nikonian at the north-eastern Mexican desert) Gallery, Brief Love Story, The Team
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That one will be making the rounds at work tomorrow!
Thanks Andy.

Regards,

Ron
F3HP, D80

Thanks for the story-- and thanks for making me bust out laughing
---Tom

"Shoot everything f/16 at a 100 and let the lab boys worry about it."

---Tom

"Shoot everything f/16 at a 100 and let the lab boys worry about it."

"Nikonians membership - My most important photographic investment, after the camera."

Thx, guys....

On my last couple of stays at the Marriot, at Kaanapali,
Maui - the 'beach bar' had the most beautiful - and
foul mouthed - Parrot I've ever seen.

I had no idea of the antidote 'till I heard this
story...


Regards,


Andy

In the Hills by the Finger Lakes..


" A velvet hand, a hawk's eye -
these we should all have." - Henri Cartier-Bresson

Maybe this is the parrot that came perched on the shoulder of a one legged pirate on a stormy night, late in the bitter cold winter in Tortuga
As they approached the saloon bar, the bartender asked "Does the animal talk?"
The parrot raised his shoulders wondering too and said "I really don't know".

Have a great time
JRP (Founder & Administrator. Nikonian at the north-eastern Mexican desert) Gallery, Brief Love Story, The Team
Join the Silver, Gold and Platinum members that help this happen; upgrade. Join your personal web site to the Nikonians WebRing
Make sure you check our workshops at The Nikonians Academy

:)

In the Hills by the Finger Lakes..


" A velvet hand, a hawk's eye -
these we should all have." - Henri Cartier-Bresson

A woman was in a pet store and noticed a parrot with a very low price.

She asked if the bird was sick or something, and was told that no one wanted it because it came from a house of ill-repute.

She figured the price was so low, she could deal with it, so she bought it and took it home.

Once at home, the parrot looked around and said, “New house, new madam!”

Sometime later the girls got in from school and noticed the parrot.

The parrot said, “New house, new madam, new girls!” They all giggled and thought it was kind of funny.

As the husband came pulling into the drive, they all ran out to see him. The wife says, “Honey, look at my new pet!”

They get inside and the parrot says, “New house, new madam, new girls, hello Bob!”

Callsign: KB3QMT
Website: http://home.comcast.net/~jeff.t.bishop/NewBuild/Index.html
Gallery: http://www.nikonians-images.com/galleries/showgallery.php?cat=500&ppuser=5650

”It’s light and nothing more…”
Jeff Bishop

Honi soit qui mal y pense

Gerold - Nikonian in East Frisia
Eala Freya Fresena

>
>A woman was in a pet store and noticed a parrot with a very
>low price.
>
>She asked if the bird was sick or something, and was told that
>no one wanted it because it came from a house of ill-repute.
>
>She figured the price was so low, she could deal with it, so
>she bought it and took it home.
>
>Once at home, the parrot looked around and said, “New house,
>new madam!”
>
>Sometime later the girls got in from school and noticed the
>parrot.
>
>The parrot said, “New house, new madam, new girls!” They all
>giggled and thought it was kind of funny.
>
>As the husband came pulling into the drive, they all ran out
>to see him. The wife says, “Honey, look at my new pet!”
>
>They get inside and the parrot says, “New house, new madam,
>new girls, hello Bob!”
>
>

so funny.I enjoyed.

Thanks for share.

http://www.birdtrainingapp.com/cheap-bird-cages/ | http://www.birdtrainingapp.com/moluccan-cockatoo/

I work with a guy named Ben who bought an African Gray Parrot and taught it to say "Ben be the man". He is now divorced and his ex has the bird. Every time her boyfriend comes over...well you get the idea. True story.

Scott Chapin
Powder Springs, GA, USA
Nikonians Team Member

A really funny story and subsequent thread!

jdroach, a Milwaukee area and sometimes Chicago area Nikonian.





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jdroachphotography.com

My mom was in a pet store when she hear someone in one of the offices who sounded like they were answering the phone:

"Hello, Joe"
but it kept repeating
"Hello, Joe"
after a few more times of
"Hello, Joe"
She figured it was a bird and she looked into the office where the voice was coming from. When she caught the birds eye, it said
"I used to be a bird"

Chris
Broussard, LA
http://www.eaglewheel.us/Photo%20Index.htm
My Nikonians Gallery

Visit my Nikonians gallery.

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty.
He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his tracks when a loud voice cried out:

"Jesus is watching you."

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.

"Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.

The burglar stopped dead in his tracks.
He looked around frantically.
In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.

"Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" he asked.

"Yes", said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: "What's your name?"

"Clarence," said the bird.

"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar.
"What idiot named you Clarence?"

"The same irreverent idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus," the parrot replied.

Have a great time
JRP (Founder & Administrator. Nikonian at the north-eastern Mexican desert) Gallery, Brief Love Story, The Team
Join the Silver, Gold and Platinum members that help this happen; upgrade. Join your personal web site to the Nikonians WebRing
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A magician is working the dinner shows on a cruise ship. On the first night he notices the captain has a parrot perched on his shoulder, and the captain's table is immediately in front of the stage. In spite of the visual distraction, the first two night's of shows go smoothly.
However, starting on the third night, the parrot continually gives away the tricks.
"Rawk, it's up his sleeve."
"Rawk, he has two rabbits."
"Rawk, his assistant has it."
And so on. Quite disconcerting for the magician.
Then, on the sixth day, the ship strikes a large iceberg and sinks. When the magician wakes up, he sees that he is sitting at one end of a lifeboat, with the parrot at the other end. For two days they drift, staring at each other, neither speaking. Finally, on the third day, the parrot says: "Okay, where did you put the ship?"

From the rocking of the cradle to the rolling of the hearse, the going up was worth the coming down

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Though I've never personally met him, Andy used to be a good friend of mine via email ...... this old thread gave me a laugh but also made me sad at the same time!

Regards
Dinil



Struck by Light - Blog & Gallery
Visible Range - Photography & Beyond

Yet another, somewhat bawdier version ...

A little old lady's husband dies, and she goes to a pet store to find an animal to keep her company. The shop owner sells her a large parrot, and assures her it will talk once it gets comfortable in its new home.

For days, the parrot says nothing, despite her coaxing. Finally, in a loud voice the parrot says: "It's too g-- d--- hot in here". Alarmed, the little old lady chastises the parrot, telling it that foul language will not be tolerated.

Despite her continued warnings, the parrot keeps repeating: "It's too g-- d--- hot in here!" Finally, the little old lady grabs the parrot and puts it in her refrigerator for twenty minutes or so to cool off. Once she removes it, it ruffles its feathers and immediately repeats the offending phrase.

Infuriated, the little old lady grabs the parrot and puts it in the freezer section of her refrigerator. On the way in, the parrot notices a naked, headless, frozen, butterball turkey on the top shelf.

Before the door closes and the light goes out, the parrot asks the turkey: "What did you say, s--- or something?"

Thank our lucky stars we evolved with a sense of humor ...

Regards,

HBB in Phoenix, Arizona
Nikonian Team Member

Photography is a journey with no conceivable destination.

Andy is clicking away happily up there

Have a great time
JRP (Founder & Administrator. Nikonian at the north-eastern Mexican desert) Gallery, Brief Love Story, The Team
Join the Silver, Gold and Platinum members that help this happen; upgrade. Join your personal web site to the Nikonians WebRing
Make sure you check our workshops at The Nikonians Academy